It's Just You and Me, Lord (a book review with a giveaway...)

So, I am having some difficulties here. Perennially sunny in spirit and mood, I have begun having very dark days. Since banning conventional medicine even for my chronic Multiple Sclerosis, I hesitated to contact a doctor and have been treating naturally, based on my homemade diagnosis...perimenopause. I suppose I will eventually see a doc, but my fermented cod liver oil and other health store supplements seem to be helping. Still, it was a tough month or so while everything kicked in. My daughter had begun laughing every time I started to cry, to the point that I was increasingly embarrassed and that would make me cry again...sigh. And as much as I would just love to blame it on my "old lady" hormones, there has been an awful lot to cry about lately...one senseless shooting after another, fiscal cliff and $7 a gallon milk prices...the price of gas. It is enough to put me over the edge any way you look at it. Then there was my long overdue reconciling with my health diagnosis. Last summer I embarked on my new career, teaching. I love teaching and learning how to do it...I was energized. I had begun to feel unappreciated at home, despite our adoptions, and was looking, like many women, outside the home for more appreciation. Only halfway through my program, I began substituting in our school district. It was then that reality sunk in...I really don't have the ability to teach. Oh, I might have the knowledge and even the desire, but I don't have the stamina.

Yes, I know that it was a big order to think that while raising a family with 11 children, I would still find the time and energy to work outside the home. Even if I didn't have MS, it would be difficult. However, the reality that my professional life was dead coupled with some dissatisfaction with parenting 11 children most of whom are somewhere on the spectrum, made the depression that much more intense and overwhelming. Is this really all there is, Lord?

'Its Just You and Me, Lord' Blog hop

In the middle of all of that, I received an invitation to read this book , Its Just You & Me, Lord and review it for the official blog hop. No disrespect to the author, Marion Stroud, but I wouldn't have gone looking for it. I was beyond looking for solutions and was firmly entrenched in despair; quite comfortably settled there, in fact. But since it came looking for me, I eagerly dove in hoping to at least be distracted. Thank-you, Ms. Stroud...what a treasure you have written. The book contains many prayers and reflections that women with various life circumstances would find interesting. I devoured it in two days.



According to the publisher,"It’s Just You and Me, Lord' offers heartfelt prayers to inspire and encourage women no matter where they are in life’s journey. Addressing common issues and providing practical prayers, Scripture, and quotes, author Marion Stroud encourages women to express honest and heartfelt communication with God." The book did all that for me, and more. Because it breaks down the issues women face at different stages of life, I was able to read the whole book in one fell swoop, and still have the ability to easily find prayers and inspiration for whatever age or stage is currently troubling me at that time. With children ranging in age from 6 to 19 and life issues that cover everything from early parenting years to caring for aging parents to downsizing in the workplace and in our homes, it is a treasure that touches on many difficult but real issues women face everyday; issues I face every day. It also brings home the answer for all of it...it really is just you and me, Lord. And that really is enough. Thank-you, Ms. Stroud for writing such a timely and inspiring book. If you would like a chance to win a copy of 'It's Just You and Me, Lord,' the publishers have supplied a copy for me to raffle off...Just leave a comment on this post for a chance to win. You may also earn a chance for following my blog and one for liking my Dwell in Glory facebook page...just follow the link here: Dwell in Glory facebook page. I will leave the raffle open through the New Year, in case the holidays keep people from participating, and will close this give away on January 6th, 2013! Good luck! I have been provided free of charge, a copy of "It's Just You and Me, Lord" free of charge, however the opinions of this book are my own.

Approved Publishers Excerpt from the book, Its Just You and Me, Lord...

Contents

Introduction

A Woman Within

Summer Suns Are Glowing

Will the Real Me Please Stand?

A Different Kind of Fast

Rest

What’s in a Name?

Hide-and-Seek

Free Indeed

How Big Is Your God?

Wholehearted

All Change . . .

Dreams and Visions

Just an Ordinary Day

Pierced Ears

Cultivating My Inner Garden

A Woman and Marriage

Becoming One

The Gift of Words

The Walled Garden

The Other Woman

I Thought He Was THE One

One Day My Prince Will Come—Won’t He?

Loving through the Dark Days

A Woman and Her Children

A Child’s Eye View

Night Watch

On the Outside

Steps of Faith

Blended Families

The Gift of Laughter

Screens

The Trouble Tree

Lean on Me

Lost and Found

A Different Kind of Prodigal

Someone Special

Not What I’d Have Chosen

A Woman and Her Friends

Friends Near and Far

You Never Bothered to Tell Me

For Your Ears Only

Fine Feathers

Grey Days

Speaking of the Unspeakable

If You Want to Walk on Water . . .

Will Someone Please Carry Me?

Love in Action

A Woman at Work

Monday Morning Musings

It Wasn’t on the List

Reaching My Limit

Teachers

Housework

Butterflies

The Enemy Within

Why, Lord, Why?

A Woman and Her Family of Faith

What a Privilege

Belonging

Mystery Worshipper

As It Was in the Beginning

Boundaries

A Christmas Prayer

Just Another Man?

A Woman and the Wider World

The Enemy Within

Have You Given Some Thought to Your Food?

Man Down!

The Suitcase

Looking on the Outside

The Return

Something Beautiful for God?

It’s Not Our Business

Sunlight and Shadows

A Woman Growing Older

Roots and Wings

The Crowning Years

The Past Is a Foreign Country

Prayers in the Night

Seize the Day

Downsizing

A Life Complete

Will the Real Me Please Stand?

I searched everywhere, determined to find wisdom and to understand the reason for things.

Ecclesiastes 7:25 NLT

She wants to live for once. But doesn’t know quite what that means. Wonders if she’s ever done it. If she ever will.

Alice Walker

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

John 10:10

#

“I’m sorry, I don’t know your name,” she said.
“I always think of you as David’s mother.”
“Are you the dentist’s wife?” the nurse inquired,
advancing on me,
ready to take a sample of my blood.
“I think he’s wonderful!”

“I was expecting a real ‘earth-mother’ type
when I was told you had so many children,”
she murmured cheerfully,
waiting for a chance to introduce me
to the noisy group
of coffee-drinking women,
“but actually, you look quite elegant!”

Dear Lord, these people know me
only through my association
with someone else.
And really, I can’t blame them.
For there are days when I stop and wonder
who this woman really is,
whom I see daily in the mirror.
I am amazed at times
to think that she is me.

I’m usually too busy, Lord,
to think about
these challenging life questions.
But today,
when I have been reminded
that you intend your children
to have life in all its fullness,
I really need to ask you what you meant,
when you voiced such an all-encompassing remark
to your disciples.

I have to say,
if you were meaning “lots to do,”
then I’ve received your gift already.
My days are packed
and stretch into the night,
while I whirl around
cooking, cleaning, checking details,
and doing all the rest that must be done
to keep a family headed
in the right direction.

And yet somehow I can’t believe
that this is all my life is meant to be about.
If you have made me
unique and special,
as your Word tells me that you have,
numbering my days,
counting every hair and catching every tear,
blessing me with gifts,
and giving me a purpose to fulfill
in your economy,
then surely there is more to life
than what I do for other people.

Please help me, Lord.
Enable me to find that sacred space
where I can meet with you.
Then you can gently take apart
the many layered Russian doll
that often seems to represent my life,
and show me who the “real me” is,
so that I can embrace
all that I am, and all you have for me
with joy and thankfulness.

At any moment an unsatisfying life may become once more a grand adventure, if we will surrender it to God. The adventure of faith is exciting, difficult and exacting, but full of new discoveries, fresh turns and sudden surprises.

Paul Tournier

 

Old MacDonald had an....auto-immune disease?

So another doctors appointment yesterday and there was good news and bad news. Good news: the huge lump on my neck is not cancer or a goiter...pro-life values be-damned...if i ever get a goiter, I'm checking out. But I digress...Bad news: I have a sore throat and my lymph nodes are swollen and they are putting me on lifetime antibiotics, or at least for 6 months to a year. Really, isn't that what they do to the cows, just before they kill them. Don't worry about that fecal matter your are standing in, Bossie...we got a shot for that!

Bossie, its all over now!!

I had thought about writing some of this for my blog, but felt that it is all in TMI territory. I will share with you my kids lives, my political and pro-life rants, but this just seems kindof personal. And unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Then I read this blog article on one of my favorite blogs, and copied down these interesting facts:

24% of women would sacrifice 3 years of their life to be thin

Girls as young as five have expressed fears of getting fat

90% of high school junior and senior girls diet regularly even though only between 10-15% are considered overweight.

None of this seems remarkably interesting. I am sorry that girls and women like to compare ourselves to others. So what...its not earth shattering. I personally have stopped posing for pictures and looking in mirrors, shopping only when necessary. I was a thin kid. I always wanted to be thinner. I also knew that, on a scale of 1-10, my complaints were not even on the scale. My skin was good, too...don't hate me because I was beautiful :o)

I was one happy chick, back in the day!!!

Things change. It doesn't matter that I exercise or not. It doesn't matter when I eat good or make poor choices. At all...Sometime after my marriage, it all started to go down hill. Don't blame my husband--I actually did at first!! Wondered if I was allergic to him. I mean begin to get acne in my mid-twenties after never having had an issue. The only thing that had changed was my husband...he was suspect number one!! It wasn't that, oh my husband loves me for me and not my face...body...fill in the blank. I personally suspect my husband loves me for my mind, but that's just me. It wasn't anything I could define, but after meeting Shawn, it all started to go down hill. Right before we were engaged, I needed to go to the hospital for breathing treatments. Asthma, it turned out. Well duh, I was a heavy smoker and no asthma is going to stop me. Even the doctor treating me with a breathing treatment in the hospital stuck his cigarette on my tray table while he checked me...it was the 80's people...smoking was still cool. The night we got engaged, Shawn actually came to take me out for dinner but I was so sick from all the medecine. I declined and he was forced to get down on his knees in my mom's living room...ok, he didn't but he was supposed. We are still fighting about that!! Then I had some trouble driving...really tired in the afternoon. I put it down to the weight that crept on...But I had to drive for work. I quit. Depression...I am such a slug. And I don't even care. Then my eye went crazy...I went blind in one eye while on vacation in Ca. Optic neuritis...not so bad but the treatment was my first experience with prednisone...yuck! The doctor said, its no big deal. Six months later it happened in the other eye...this time the doctor recommended I see my physician. Well, you know that was Bossie time again! My doctor played it off...she does not believe in drama...yeah, it might be indicative of some things, but I am sure you are fine. Fast forward...after two rounds of prednisone, I was starting to look like Bossie. But a remarkable thing happened. My best friend in the world was diagnosed and consequently died from cancer. Sometime in the process, I began running 3 miles every day. It didn't help with my weight, but definitely with my mood. After Anne died...the next week in fact, I had to call my doctor. I was having some kind of seizures and it effected my handwriting...At class that week, I locked myself in the library at Marywood and by the end of the day had diagnosed myself with Multiple Sclerosis. I told myself Anne had died...if it was just a chronic disease with no cure, I was way ahead of the game. It was, and I was, and another round of prednisone in retrospect was no big deal. But it was life changing. We decided to get agressive if we wanted to have children.

16 years later, and nothing has changed...except I am too tired to run anymore. I tried swimming. It wasn't great. After the kids, I had reletively few exacerbations. I was lucky. With my last one before I left PA, I was introduced to IV steriods, or the aldo novo treatments as I called them...you see, luckily, my brain is the last thing to go. I worry daily about my ability to retain knowledge. Early Altziemers...maybe. Grandma's a bit mad. I have encouraged my children to let me go and ignore the bad temper as much as possible. They just ignore me. Last Christmas I had Bells Palsy, a very unattractive design. I just keep smiling and thinking, God...I cannot lose the weight from PA and I am barely moving at all. How do I take care of these kids...This round of prednisone was no weight change at all. I only know this because, after having Shawn remove all the scales in the house, I had him bring one in...

What was different? I was not exercizing at all. Too tired to even move. Whole food? That was the only change...could it matter that much?

Last summer, I read enough information on whole food from this book, The Unhealthy Truth by Robyn O'Brien, that we went completely organic. Even with 11 children (and a few who resist still anything that doesn't have a Walmart label on it) our grocery bill, which was already high, did not go up. In fact, I am pretty sure it is lower. And I don't have to feed them every two hours. And our behavior is better. But something else I had read was that with all the genetically altered there was much that was untested and, even with the ones that were, results were negative or incunclusive. These types of foods that I have been raising my family on, and that I ate regularly, when a newly wed and all through college, are found to cause all types of problems. I will try and find some facts to fill you in, but the point of my sadness today was the increase in autoimmune disease. I wonder if this is, in fact, the source of my MS...I believe, as well, that I have an impaired thyroid...a thyroid that has autoimmune antibodies in it...All the horrible side effects I have had for 25 years...junk food?

I feel so sheepish...